#3 How I Map My Way Out of My Limiting Beliefs
Take a page off a marketer's book - and my journal
Remember that thing you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t done because you told yourself you couldn’t?
Let me guess. It’s just not who you are, is it? Or maybe, you’ve always been, you know, a frustrated writer, singer, entrepreneur, whatever. You’re probably just gonna suck at it. Or you’re not the type to put yourself out there. Or maybe you just know and believe that there is a very specific way this thing should be done. Nobody else is doing it the way you imagine. Heck, it’s never even been done before! I mean, what makes you think you can consider this? Are you out of your mind?!
Well, the thing is, when you want to try or accomplish something that feels unnatural or unconventional, you do probably have to be a little bit out of your mind. But the whole point of a limiting belief is the opposite: for you to stay in the same mindset. So you never see the light of exploration, never feel the water of opportunity, and never bloom into the singular, ravishing flower you’re meant to be.
A limiting belief… is a pretty self-explanatory term. But at its core, it is simply this: a story. A limiting belief is a story we tell ourselves about how we see ourselves, how one should operate, or how something should work, even when that story isn’t necessarily true — or worth holding on to. The good news?
Since this is all mostly in your head, then you can change it.
One night, as I was journaling, I told myself I was going to do just that.
I’ve been aware that I had (and still have) creative blocks. Big, solid, and deeply lodged, these blocks often kept me from just letting the words flow and I’d end up trying too hard while writing. Classic overthinker things. Ugh.
Here’s the journal entry:
As expected, it wasn’t just one, but a bunch of limiting beliefs. And I know—the page (and my handwriting) is a mess! It will get clearer and more useful in a bit.
After journaling, it hit me that the process and diagram seemed familiar. It looked a lot like… a classic marketing tool.
Hold on. Let me put on my marketer hat. 🧢
Now, you probably already know this, but the whole point of marketing is to influence people. To get consumers to go from Point A (non-usage of product X) to Point B (usage of product X). But for consumers to cross that bridge, they must think a certain way. Because when people patronize a new product—deviating from their usual preference—they’re actually buying into a new way of thinking, which means leaving their current way of thinking. (Of course, all this happens on a subconscious level, which is why marketing even works at all.) In other words, the current mindset is the limiting belief that keeps consumers from behaving differently.
This whole thought-behavior shift is plotted in four boxes. Though a very grade-school-looking tool, it is where every marketing initiative is (ideally) anchored.
Literally the ultimate, fundamental marketing secret, this is the belief-mapping framework:
Now, going back to my journaling exercise. Since there were many blocks to unblock, I’ll just tackle the first box/friction point.
Here’s the thought process: I knew I wanted to write more freely, more confidently, and to sound more like me. Currently, I’d overthink the moment I start writing (side effects: writing too slowly, procrastinating a lot, and sounding bland).
I asked myself: Why did I insist on overthinking? What was I actually feeling that triggered me to do so? What did I think was I achieving?
Clearly, these thoughts were supporting my status quo. So what fresh perspective, then, could I teach myself?
Transposing my journal entry, it maps out like this:
CLARITY, right?! And it worked! I can say that because I did not overthink when I began writing this, or most of the stuff I write nowadays. (Sometimes I still fall for the overthinking trap because I’m only human. But, hey, it’s gotten a lot easier for me to get out of it!)
But wait, what’s that box underneath, you ask? I will get there in a bit, but first, let me retrieve my storyteller hat. 👒
Here’s one more thing worth noting about stories: The more detailed they are, the more powerful they get. It’s the same with limiting beliefs; they’re insidious because they’re very specific and unique to the person. But, in the same vein, it’s understanding that specificity that makes the belief easier to crack.
So, if you want to try this magical marketing mechanism and finally do that thing you’ve always wanted to do or become that person you’ve always wanted to become, here’s the four-step process:
State your current behavior and desired behavior.
Reflect. What is your perspective about yourself, the work, or the world that’s driving your current behavior? Try to be as honest and specific as possible. Express this in your current think.
Think of a new, healthier perspective—express this in your desired think.
Determine actions that will help you realize and reinforce your desired think.
On step 3: Sometimes, I think we already have an inkling of our desired think. Deep inside, we know what we need to believe; it’s just hard to grasp because we haven’t crystallized or sat with it. This is why it’s very powerful to write it down (see: soliloquies in my think boxes): when you’re able to give shape to something, it becomes immensely more comprehensible and actionable.
On step 4: In marketing, the orange box usually represents the campaign/initiative/big idea that will get people to shift their beliefs. Seen this way, this box is arguably the most critical part of the process: To fully reframe your thinking, you have to do something that aligns with your desired think.
There’s plenty of research that covers how behavior can transform your beliefs. Essentially, you can chalk it up to this term: neuroplasticity. Also called brain plasticity, it’s the ability of our brain to change and reorganize its structures, connections, and patterns, due to experience. That is, due to our actions.
It’s definitely easier for me to write now—but I had to enforce measures that helped realize my desired think, and, consequently, achieve my desired do. I had to show myself that this new belief worked. That just because it was uncomfortable, it doesn’t mean it’s wrong—just different. This is a good time to emphasize again how to treat a limiting belief: In my case, I am not an overthinker. I’m only inclined to overthink—but it is not who I am.
Going back, this action plan is different for everybody. It depends based on what the limiting belief is, how deep-rooted it is, and what next steps are manageable to you. But my (and James Clear’s and every other self-help writer/guru’s) advice is this: Think baby steps. Keep it simple and within reach. Whatever the game plan, remember that the most important thing is you can do it.
Here’s another example where I had to get over my perfectionist tendencies to launch Skinny Deep:
For something that takes so much conscious effort, it’s ridiculous to realize how simple it is: that the way to overcome a limiting belief… is to believe otherwise. Plus, it’s nuts considering that you can’t even see or feel this whole brain rewiring thing. So isn’t it comforting to know you can at least map it out?
To end, there could only be one quote from no other than Henry Ford: “Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right.”
Once again, here is the belief mapping framework that shows exactly how a limiting belief works—and how you can dismantle it:
PS. Shout out to my fellow overthinkers. A GIF: