#36 How List-Making Has Changed My Life
Kicking off a series where I share the most impactful lists I've made!
Hi, my name is Ria. And I’m a glazomaniac.
I've been a compulsive list-maker for as long as I can remember. As a hyperactive student intoxicated by productivity, I inundated my planner with checklists (which feels like another life considering how allergic I am now to doing Too Many Things). At work, I would tame my anxiety by listing the crap out of my projects. As a newbie writer, I quickly put in my reps writing listicle after listicle. I’ve made comparison lists: pros vs cons, what works vs what doesn’t work, even my past self vs my present self. Through the sheer act of enumerating things, I’ve been able to systematically acclimatize to new jobs, be at peace knowing I’m traveling with everything I need, nail my grocery runs, and run my errands like a proper adult. (This last point is arguable, but let’s just go with it.)
Sure, it’s great to get stuff done, not to mention to trick myself into feeling a semblance of control. But here’s what I realized: I’ve made far more exciting and rewarding lists in my life – none made with productivity with the end in mind.
As you’ll see in a later post, it was a list that helped me rise from the ashes of burnout. I’ve listed — and continue to list — my way to saner days, to a livelier creative practice, to better versions of myself. I wouldn’t be surprised if I managed to list my way to the love of my life.
Kidding aside, I think a list, be it ever so humble, is so powerful because it’s a concrete demonstration of intention. No, it’s not the solution — but it is the catalyst. To sit down and compel yourself to make a list in an attempt to tackle something is to say, with a gentle yet committal sensibility, I want to understand myself. I want to take stock of what’s important. I want to make better decisions.
Or at least, those were the intent behind the lists I will be sharing with you over the next weeks.
These aren’t so much lists as exercises. I suspect what makes them special and hardworking is how they force you to focus and consider yourself. But that’s not to say they’re taxing to make. They’re actually the funnest things I’ve ever done! Looking back, I thank my past self for putting in the effort.
To start this four-part series, here’s my latest favorite list!
A list for personal alignment
On the upper right corner of every page of my journal this year, you’ll see these five bullet points:
Love
Kindness
Meaningful work
Creativity
Health
This is a list of my top values (in no particular order, or so I tell myself). And I write them every time I journal.
I first thought about defining my core values when I read about values-based goals. In this goal-setting approach, you first identify your top values and then think about the goals that allow you to live out those values. This isn’t usually how we set goals. Oftentimes, we think outcome-first like, say, wanting to build a six-pack. That’s a perfectly sensible, noble goal. One I’ve claimed myself perhaps half of my life and am nowhere close to reaching. But oftentimes, the story we tell ourselves ends there: I want a six-pack. Now say we extended the narrative to this: I know and believe to my core that my physical health and strength are of paramount importance to me. Achieving a six-pack is simply one way I can show that.
Doesn’t that feel the slightest bit more visceral? More deliberate?
Will this kind of reframing really make a difference? Wellbeing expert Tchiki Davis suggests it might help with one’s commitment and endurance. Her plea: “I just want to encourage you to set goals starting from a desire for meaning rather than a desire for an outcome.” I think that’s fair — it’s easier to stay the course when you’ve established why it’s worth running the race.
Anyway, I just thought that was a nice bit to share, but truthfully, this year, I’ve totally dropped the goals part (lol) and thought I’d simply lead with my top values.
So this is how the exercise goes: Google “list of personal values”, then shortlist into five.
Sounds simple enough, right? But as you look through all those noble, important things worth living by, you’ll begin to feel how impossible it is to narrow it down to just five. I mean, on top of the five I listed above, of course I want to be charitable! Adventurous! Balanced! Wise!
Pinning down five doesn’t mean you can’t demonstrate other values. It just means these chosen ones are what you’re compelled to mindfully practice, whether you’ve already ingrained them or wish you lived by them more. After all, values, as Nir Eyal put it, “are the attributes of the person you want to become.”
Now whether or not you partake in this list-making, the truth is we all have our own value hierarchies in our lives. It leaks out in our choices and behaviors. I could easily claim that I highly value financial security, but if I keep taking every chance I can to book a flight, then what value am I honestly championing more?